I’m sitting here taking a moment for myself while the sounds of my most comforting songs fill the empty space around me. I will be 100% honest with you, I want our home to be filled with magic & love ALL THE TIME. Don’t we all? But reality is, that’s not the case. We are human & I won’t paint a false picture for you all. While I try to share more good than bad, because well, I don’t want to go around bumming you out, too… Today feels heavy. I’m not sure whether it’s the dreary (no snow) weather here in Maine or the fact that my toddler has been acting like a raged zoo animal. Or… that goddamn full Christmas moon on the way… Like, really mother nature, as if Christmas chaos wasn’t enough, you just had to throw that in there too?!
But, my heart, while full, is heavy today. I am feeling all the feels. The leftover emotions I didn’t pour out yesterday when I felt like I was failing as a mum. The emotions of our loss feeling all too close at a time like this. The stress we’ve worked up over some personal issues the last couple days. The overwhelming sense that we tried so hard not to feed into the Christmas chaos, but indeed we did.
Now again, I say this all not to bum you out but to remind you that it’s okay. It’s okay to have weak moments. It’s okay to feel the intensity of it all. It’s okay to feel sad when everyone is “Merry & bright”. It’s okay to miss someone. It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to do what you need to do for yourself.
So… mamas, papas, friends, take a step back. Dim the lights & music down. Take a moment for YOU. Take a step back & remember why you’re celebrating. In fact, think about exactly what it is your celebrating. Whatever your beliefs may be… Think about what is most important to you today & set your intentions.
Today, I choose to set myself free from what didn’t work yesterday & start over today. I choose to let go of what didn’t get finished in time. I choose to be at peace with my emotions. I choose to surround myself with self love & love for others. I choose to appreciate my partner for all that he is & does. I choose to remind my son that Santa isn’t the only one watching – that we love him regardless of his behavior. I choose to welcome an uplifting energy into our home – to allow the moon to wash over us & take gentle care of us while we navigate a time that can be as equally joyful as it is challenging.
Ultimately, I choose to be okay with what is to be…
From our family to yours, I truly wish you all the magic, comfort, peace & joy your home may hold this holiday season. To all who celebrate, Merry Christmas!
All photography by Ginger Snaps Studios – Portland, ME (Do not copy or use without permissions)
With Light & Love,